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Dina Jacobs
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4th-Mar-2008 07:41 pm - A Moment Of Silence Please...
Our beloved DM has gone to another plane...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080304/ap_en_ot/obit_gygax

Without Gary where would all of us be....

All the weekends and overnight games and conventions...would we really all just sit around and play video games? I think not...
26th-Jan-2008 10:21 pm - Umm..Umm..Umm..er...Ummm...
How will I die?
Your Result: You will die while having sex.
 

Your last moments in this life will be enjoyable indeed...hopefully. Do not fear sex. Try not to become celibate as a way of escaping death. You cannot run from destiny.

You will be murdered.
 
You will die while saving someone's life.
 
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
 
You will die in a car accident.
 
You will die from a terminal illness.
 
You will die in your sleep.
 
You will die of boredom.
 
How will I die?
Create a Quiz
29th-Dec-2007 10:11 pm - OK OK OK
The neglect is over...sorry but my life is a mess and things change day to day.

Some of you know this so this will bore you to death....


I am out...out of what you might ask...the closet...yes I am getting divorced, most know this...but I am also letting the world know what I really am...if this is a problem I am sorry...I am still me, I am still the person to goof off with and help when its needed. Yes this means adjusting and changing things. I don't mind questions and people being unsure how to approach things, I just mind stupidity. No the kids do not know yet so please keep this in mind until I find the right way to tell them their mom loves a woman. Yes the kids know about the divorce of course.

I know this is hard...its been hard for me to be something else...its been hard for me to realise this is what I am meant to be. There are those that have accepted me and there are those that cannot...I am not sorry for being myself...I just wish I had known years ago.

The rift in a family when something like this occurs can be great...however, how do I know what is right to do and who is telling me the truth to my face and who is making things up that was never said...I am trying my best.

Yes I will have to move again...ugh ugh ugh...when I do not know yet...


More later...
29th-Dec-2007 10:02 pm - umm...i must have a past life...
I Am A: True Neutral Human Barbarian/Sorcerer (3rd/2nd Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-15

Dexterity-13

Constitution-15

Intelligence-15

Wisdom-13

Charisma-16


Alignment:
True Neutral A true neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. He doesn't feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most true neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil after all, he would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, he's not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some true neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. True neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion. However, true neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it represents apathy, indifference, and a lack of conviction.


Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.


Primary Class:
Barbarians are brave, even reckless, and their warrior skills make them well suited to adventure. Instead of training and discipline, barbarians have a powerful rage that makes them stronger, tougher, and better able to withstand attacks. They only have the energy for a few such displays per day, but it is usually sufficient. Constant exposure to danger has also given barbarians a sort of 'sixth sense,' the preternatural ability to sense danger and dodge attacks, and their running stamina is legendary.


Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

29th-Dec-2007 09:36 pm - ok I had to do this...interesting
Your results:
You are Qui-Gon Jinn
Qui-Gon Jinn
75%
Lando Calrissian
74%
Boba Fett
74%
Han Solo
73%
Chewbacca
68%
R2-D2
66%
Mace Windu
66%
Luke Skywalker
61%
Darth Maul
61%
Obi-Wan Kenobi
58%
Overall, you're a pretty well balanced person.
But maybe you focus a little too
much on the here and now.
Think about the future before its too late.


(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Test

11th-Sep-2007 10:52 pm - Always Remember, Never Forget
Today Matters....

I wrote this a few years ago as an interpretation of what it might have been like in the aftermath of the attacks on the world trade center. It is written as if the writer is male. Please keep in mind I am no professional this is just what I felt should be written.

This is dedicated to all who died that day, but also to those deaths yet to come from the diseases that are occuring from the attacks in New York.

09-11-2001 Forever Remembered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elegy

I

The sun burns bright another mindless day in my numb existence
My feet take where I need to be without thought of where I am going
Given another day to take for granted when will my life be meaningful
The air is pure in my lungs; the crispness reminds me I am not home
The stairs lead me around to the place I need be in this city of skyscrapers
Its early the sun is still pink on this blessed fall day I just want to be gone
Home is the other side of this country for me, the plane awaits me later

I sit in anticipation for my meeting is important to see another one built
The office is cold as the man who occupies its wooden space
I sit there bored wondering is it even worth my time to be turned out again
The pen is merciless as I glide it across the page careful not to smear the words
My hand has to trace over them over and over for its weak in way of words
The sun is higher now as I wait too long thinking I am forgotten as usual
He steps in apologizing the train was late as usual, this is too easy
I am set free for its been done, the signature is all that’s needed
The ride down is too slow for my impatient feet wanting out of here
The sidewalk leads me to the place I really want to be, home

The bliss of the morning is rudely interrupted by something my mind cannot fathom
A sound so loud it could be an atomic explosion no words serve for its absoluteness
The wanting to know can only make my feet lead me to where the noise resonates still
I am running the wrong way for they all are running away from me not wanting to know
My need for survival is limited my life meaningless upon this day if I save another then it’s worth it
My footfalls become slower as I have to fight more of the fleeing masses surrounding me
Seeing the smoke I know now where I am headed, I do not know my way around here anymore
The chaos of the screams of the hell above me reaches my ears intact upon their release
There must be something a mere one man can do to just save one from the devil’s action

I can see my destination in the sky now I don’t stop to stare in wonder
The smoke is thicker now the fire is so hot the heat must be beyond measure
They want to turn me away; I say no and ask there must be something for my hands to do
The smoke becomes more and more as the first one jumps for their life from above the flames
As my leader insticits take over without a care of my own life for one is better than none
The screams are eternal now calling to me from above I wonder in my heart
Can I save just one by getting them further away from here to the sea?
I know nothing of how to take care of them but I am here leading the way out in the grayness
I do not care how hard it’s getting to breathe in all the humanity that surrounds me one must escape

The plane can’t, no, no, no the boom is deafening the fire escalating upon the second tower
The chaos becomes worse my hoarse voice cannot yell anymore to guide them to their freedom
Still I stand here hoping one more will be given to his family to see the sun rise again
I have no tears left in my eyes the smoke has claimed them long ago
Looking up I can only think, knowing what I know about buildings, when will it fall?
I wonder this aloud to the rescue man standing next to me and get a slight chuckle
I will not go any closer until the inevitable in my heart occurs, nothing is indestructible

The bloodier ones emerge black and blue I do all I know how with my shaking hands
The rescue man is overwhelmed with the people bleeding as they walk away is our help enough
The hour passes too quickly as I stand there not thinking about my need at all just the ones passing
I look up in time to see it start to fall I turn away not moving not caring if I get caught in the dust and rubble
As the first one falls the urgency is doubled in the second the fireman are now turning around to get out
Still I stand here giving out the masks so they may breathe without the dust in their lungs
The smell is mixed of jet fuel, ash, fire, flesh, humanity; I cannot describe death’s lingering acridity
The moment is too intense for my meager learnings of the language of my life

The lady comes by to me holding out a clear plastic bottle telling me for me, I can’t
My insides too twisted to even think about needing anything in them
The siren wails I no longer hear I am numb to my surroundings now only they matter
I edge closer now the fleeing is less now as those that can escape have
The fireman still stand tall amongst the rubble of the first tower, the anticipation is high now
The second will fall but how are we to know when this catastrophe will occur
The fireman wants to fall the burden to great the loss immeasurable in his teary eyes
I remind him that he gets to go home at some point; there will be many who won’t have that privilege
He reaches up to put his arm around my tall shoulders and says thank you and thank your family
I walk away to wonder that will he still be standing when the second one falls

The rumble started small as the second one became the dust ball we knew it would be
The young lady wants me to go but I cannot my life is not important theirs are
As I forge forward giving out ideas to anyone as to what might help to save just one more
My footfalls are shorter now as I take the size of the destruction before me impossible to reveal here
The man with the camera wants my picture I tell him no that I do not allow myself such things
No one needs to know I am even here because no one will miss me if I am gone forever
As I become one to carry the ones who cannot walk to the safety of those that can heal them
I think maybe just maybe I am doing something to let one go home to the one they love

It’s hard to just breathe anymore my black shirt and slacks are grey and red now
My suit coat long gone to someone needing it to be warm from the shock of being here
My long hair looks grey to the point you can’t tell is blonde anymore as I pass another to waiting hands
I want to venture closer but the fireman tells me I must stay where I am he doesn’t want me hurt
The day wears on the chaos settling into a gentle madness in the streets as common bond with wealthy
The adversity is great but the many will be greater beyond the fallings that surround them
As the fireman passes me another I am reminded that I am not as young as I once was but I tune out the pain
The fireman’s boss comes by telling him it’s his turn to sit for half an hour, when someone comes to replace him
There is no relief for me and I do not want relief from what I am doing on this day until the last one is out

As another comes the fireman’s arms are not enough for his body has given in to the fatigue
I tell him go it’s not worth it for you have someone to go home to, I do not
The tears in his eyes surprise me as he turns to walk away whispering that’s just wrong
The pain my body is trying to make me feel I just ignore as another lives through the dust to freedom
I have to get closer to see the next one the fireman bringing her is so tired he can’t walk
As he hands her to me she reaches for my face touching my tearless cheek, thank you she cries
I keep going ignoring the shoulder that doesn’t want to do anymore, ignoring the knee that won’t bear
Another fireman comes to replace the other the evening must be coming for the air is cooler now
The paramedic comes up to me asking have I been relieved today at all, I tell him don’t worry about me
The other one comes asking who has given blood to give to the victims; this is the only way I will leave
My half an hour passes, the nurse wants me to rest I tell her that’s impossible for me

Evening falls around us cold and merciless in its pursuit of perfection to the sky
It’s hard to see now the dust is settled but it’s not as the search continues to find another
Too many have no where to go on this night, I cannot leave as I help to keep things going
I hope to be forgotten for I have done nothing to really make it better here just given my meager hands
The fireman comes up to me and his eyes give away the fatigue to tell me that this isn’t the only place
That there were two more planes to cause absolute destruction and chaos and great loss of life to our core
I cannot cry my eyes have no tears left in them; I take a moment to think about more lives uselessly taken
As the digging begins to find more I wonder what am I to do now for so many just standing there hoping for more
I asked if I know anything about operating the machinery to help get the living ones out, I am just a carpenter
My hands are all I have to give on this grievous day of days; I hope they are enough for what they want

Blackness surrounds us now the lights are blinding in my tired eyes as I turn to a voice
The fire captain walks up to me; I am wondering what did I do now? his grim smile is welcoming
He tells me to go home, I told him I can’t because it’s far far away from here, I have no where tonight
I cannot walk away even though my body wants me to just rest for a moment to think about the pain
I do not care about the pain; I have not given enough but am ordered away for the night
There they are sitting on the sidewalks no place to go I wonder if I walk enough I will just return
The nurse notices me walking by and asks me if she can do anything for me, when I tell her no she’s shocked
My long legs carry me away but I can’t get the screams out of my mind, the smell out of my nose
The grey permeates my outside and my inside forever I will be changed on this day

Midnight calls out from somewhere to tell me it’s over for now I can’t sleep
I must keep walking on for walked too far this morning no caring what it took to get there
I gave away my wallet when I gave away my coat so the money is gone but my name is not in it
As my footfalls become slower I wonder will I be able to return to give more and more for strangers
The corner looms with the hotel of where I left my life this morning thinking I just want to be home
Now I don’t want to go back until I have given enough each day for my meagerness in this life
The man at the door looks at me in awe as he knows where I have been given my shambled appearance
He wants to tell the world and I tell him to be quiet I don’t want any recognition at all for I have done nothing
The elevator is not fast enough as I find my way to the cold empty room I will not sleep in tonight

The grey falls off my outside as the water washes away the stains on the outside
The inside cannot bring itself to deal with all its eyes have witnessed on this day of hell
The sleep I am supposed to want does not come; I cannot think of eating but go downstairs anyway
I walk out hoping to find a fireman or policeman hoping to have someone that needs a place come here
My room need not be empty when so many need a place to rest their heads this night
I take a turn walk back in to see a tired young lady at the desk covered in grey of the day
I ask what the problem is and find someone without her card I hand the clerk mine not caring the cost
Just ask that it be charged to my existing tab and not give out my name
I get a grey hug for my efforts and wonder what I have done its only money
She pulls me down to her to tells me thank you, you have helped so much, tears fall on her face
I turn to walk away again only to see the same scene I just ask the lady at the desk to put it on mine
No one needs to know who is giving out rooms but I ask that it be taken care of for them its only money
I take the long ride again to the cold room seeking a place to breathe for its hard to now
As the sun peeks through the window my body gives in to the sleep it seeks so badly
The screams echo in my mind as I sleep not wanting to forget the pain of those lost upon this day
Darkness encases me as the sun takes hold warming my cold body to sleep



II

The sun bites me eyes hard and cold
Reminding me its time to rise again
As I turn to move off the bed it comes back
The gray powder consuming me
My muscles refuse to respond to me
The reminders of what was yesterday

Today I must walk again to do some more
My stomach reminds me I haven’t eaten
I make me way downstairs to the simple hotel eatery
I wander in dressed in what I have left
A black suit too much for this occasion
The hostess seats me without regard
The waitress takes me order with an odd look

Me breakfast arrives but I am not really hungry
How can a man eat after watching, smelling and tasting death?
Helpless to their needs my mind trails to yesterday
The waitress returns it takes her four tries for me to hear
“Would you like more juice sir?” it’s so innocent
I just wave her away and eat without tasting
I need to nourish me battered body there is more
More pain, more lives taken, more death, more digging

She brings the bill and I add it to me room bill
As I down the other half of me breakfast
The many pills that keep me from feeling
She comes back with tears in her eyes
I wonder what upset I have caused now
She takes a minute to compose herself
“I didn’t know who you were, Mr. O…”
“Flaherty” I know me name is impossible on paper
“Mr. O Flaherty your room, breakfast and anything else,
Is compliments of this hotel, for all you have done.”

The shy boy inside says practically whispers “Thank you.”
What did I do to deserve this treatment?
My heart thinks there must be some mistake
I am used to being taken from not given to
She just smiles at me heartfully without phoniness
As I get up to leave she asks if I need anything
At this point I just want to run, the attention is killing me
In my heart I just to go back so I ask for a cab

The ride is too slow the driver is as silent as the city
It’s all just gray there is no color as we get closer
The policeman stops us and says the car cannot go in
I step out and hand the driver a hundred thanking him
His eyes get real big and he enthusiastically thanks me
The officer asks what I am going to do?
Help, give, dig, instruct, feed, care, hold, be, what is needed
This answer stuns him and he says I am not supposed to let you pass
“But I was here last night and yesterday morning” silence
His hand reaches for mine to shake it vigorously
He leads me down the silent shattered street

My mind wanders as me footsteps are blindly taken
The officer ducks into a shattered storefront
I have to duck lower but follow without comment
The officer at the desk asks what I want
My leader speaks for me saying that I am here to help
And that I was here yesterday seeing it all
The sergeant nods and asks if I had anything better to wear
“No I was on a business trip that has turned into a giving trip”
This brings a small smile and he tells the young officer to take me up

As I walk closer after donning me mask and hardhat
I ask him where the medical station might be
After a curious look he points the way
“Give me a minute” he nods his head unsure why I asked
“Are you sure?”” Yes hurry please” her hands are fast
I come back about five minutes later, he just stares
“Its ok, what’s a head of hair compared to the lives that need me”
He is stunned since it was down to me bum
Walking into the mire the smells grow stronger
Death lingers wherever you look, in stain, smell and pieces

The fireman asks gruffly “what do you want?”
“To give you a break, to give you me hands, to give you a drink”
Not being the answer he expected he just is silent
Pointing to a line of men searching with dogs
“Give each of them time to have breakfast”
I rush over explaining what I am there for
They decide amongst themselves who gets to go first
I stand there unsure what is next feeling me heart beat faster

“Like this” the man next to me shows me how
Moving the concrete shards he shows me what bones look like
The smell is overbearing but I press on not thinking of the pain
Me previous injuries bear down as the time passes
Pestering me like a recurring wound of vengeance
I keep going slowly, thoroughly, not wanting to miss a thing
The man returns as the sun starts beating down harder
I am reduced to me t shirt and slacks the pain festers

My hands become numb with the relentless pursuit
The fireman comes back over gingerly stepping on the grey powder
“Can you come over here please?” I follow without comment nodding
He leads me deeper into the pile I have to climb up
“Since you are the break giver please do the same with these gentlemen”
I am stunned because this is where the real work is
I just nod dumbfounded and the white haired one comes up to me
“Just watch and wait young man, your turn will come”
He limps away with the other fireman and I hear “over here”

I turn back to where he was standing the others think they have something
I am given the shovel to start shoveling faster and faster
The pain fades as the work becomes more important than me
The sun crosses the high point and my body reminds me I ate early
Seeing me stop the fireman comes over and asks if I am ok
I give my shovel to someone and make my way down the grey mountain
He walks beside me with his head down in silence
This says more than any mere words in this aftermath

I find the tent where the food is being served
The twenty-five-ish lady smiles at me and asks “What would you like sir?”
I just am numb having just seen all the death again
The towers fall again in me mind like two pile drivers are beating them down
“Sir?, are you alright?” The blackness comes…
“I just asked what he wanted and he just fell over, I am sorry. Is he alright?”
The light filters through me eyelids beckoning me to awaken
“It’s ok.” I sit up not caring about me bleeding head.
“Just get me something to eat so I can continue” I say in stubbornness
I am helped to a chair, the nurse fusses over me head but its nothing

I eat what she brought me and she brings me more, I eat like tis me last meal
This is appreciated as they don’t want to see me fall again just because I am hungry
I walk out looking for the fireman heading towards the grey mountain of tormented steel
The young fireman is glad to see me still wanting to help and points the way
The search is mostly fruitless but for the remains we do find
At least his family will have someone to bury and closure for his wife
I have no one so I do not worry about what happens to me meager life
The pain starts festering again as I down more pills to sustain me work
Except this is not work, this is a will to find just one intact, to bring closure
I stare out into the light wondering; why wasn’t it me in the grey mountain?

The flag is raised on the makeshift steel like a white light on a black night
Waving relentlessly on reminding us of what matters in our hearts as Americans
The fireman walk around thinking of their brothers below us no longer saving a life
The world has stopped, the sirens no longer wail, the horns no longer sound, the street no longer sing their ferocious song of life that is five minutes behind the world’s demands
The pinkness begins to emerge as the sun starts it peaceful descent into the other side
My body keeps telling me that I cannot do anymore and I just am thinking too bad
As I walk deeper into the mountain there is some excitement as someone found another
I just am awed that someone is still alive so far down inside the mountain of steel and ash

The old fireman comes up to me as I am shoveling the larger chunks into a pile
“Go rest son, you have done more than some here today, Thank you for looking for life”
“I am not going until it is time and one of you carries me out, this is too important”
The tears in his eyes give away the gratefulness in his heart and he shakes me hand
Walking away muttering to himself “why can’t they all be like that” his steps fade slowly
I walk over to where they are sorting the smaller items wondering what to do now
Wallets, checks, dolls, pictures, clothes, bullets, badges, pieces of wasted lives
It hits me at this moment the amount of loss and the pain it brings inside me
The young lady walks from behind the table reaching for me, I don’t see her

I am numb to the words of caring she utters having been so hardened by me life
She looks up into me eyes, “Would you like to help here with me?”
I just numbly nod walking to the other side of the table overwhelmed
The smell of death isn’t as pungent here but the sights take over in my mind
The vastness of the items before me cannot be counted it’s just too much
As one who estimates as part of me job I cannot even count how many items there are
Football fields worth is more like it, not even counting the buildings themselves
The sun disappeared and I didn’t even notice in my zeal to work and work and work

The nurse comes by to check on me head and I ask her about giving away a pint
She says sure but I thought you had, I just tell her with the straightest face
“No” in my mind I am saying; no not today. I follow her small steps
Giving the red liquid life is meaningful as this means that someone else might live
As I lay there my body reminds me of what I have done today in hell
Grey hell is what they should call this place; ground zero is nice but not true
The pain is more than normal and I wonder if I have enough to get back to work
My damn cell phone rings I haven’t heard it since that morning so it scares me awake
The dream isn’t a dream, the grey hell is before me as I plod on into it abyss
“John where are you? Why aren’t you home or at least trying to get home?”
I don’t care what he says; it’s just the inconsiderate bastard I work for.
All he cares about is the money I put in his pocket that he takes credit for

I just hang up not even saying goodbye, see you tomorrow or I will call later
I just don’t care because his callousness doesn’t matter to me anymore
The grey hell plagues me mind for every moment now and forever
The stars try to show themselves again amongst the lights that shine on
As I walk away back to my table of tragedy, something catches me eye
The young lady from the table is sitting alone, apart from everyone
“What’s wrong?” I quietly inquire, hoping maybe I can do something
“I have no way home and no place to go because it’s not a home”
Her tears fall persistently, I am speechless in me shyness but reach out
Giving her me hand to wrap me arms around her, she just let’s go
Five full minutes pass and she looks again up into me eyes searching
“How come you don’t cry? Are you made of stone? Do you know how to cry?”
“I have cried all me life, no I am not a stone, I cried yesterday when I was here”
Her hands find me face she just seems to be seeping me stability into her
“Thank you” she whispers as she pulls me to her to kiss me cheek

We walk back to the tables to pursue our magnanimous assignment of sorting
It is cold now but I have no idea where I left me coat this morning
I am used to being cold so I just ignore it like any other pain me body decides I need
The fireman comes back over surprised that I am still there
“Go back to your room and sleep for a bit, it will be here still, waiting for your hands”
The young lady agrees that I need to sleep and eat and just rest me body and mind
I reluctantly agree and she decides that she should accompany me to the hotel
I warned her of the long walk and she says don’t worry she is young too
My mind is thinking why do I deserve someone like this near me?

My footfalls become clumsy as we find the way to the hotel she is guiding me
I am freezing cold by now as the adrenaline is long gone from me veins
“What room is yours?” she asks quietly but I am numb to the point I don’t understand
She opens the door and walks to desk the manager sees me and says something
I am guided to the elevator by him and the young lady that I don’t understand
As the elevator rises reality comes back to me like a thunderclap and I feel sick
I run quickly to me room forgetting about the young lady and the manager
The emotion takes over as I am a drunk on a morning after the binge of a lifetime
There is a tap at the door, I stupor over to open it and there is the angel again

“Why are you here?” I demanded too harshly “what do you want from me?”
“Shhhh, it’s alright, I am here to take care of you and put you to sleep”
“I don’t sleep and I don’t need taking care of” came me harsh rebuke
She comes over to where I am sitting in me grey clothes “it’s alright”
I find meself being undressed and not caring what she does to me
“Go shower, do you have something else to wear?” she orders as I stand
“Alright, I won’t argue the shower and the pills but after that please go”
“I will go find dinner” remembering what the manager said to me earlier
“Just call room service and order what you want I am not hungry” as I close the door
The water like ice on me skin so cold it burns washing away today’s grey
A breath is too hard to take as me lungs raise their protest to being on the mountain

I find a towel and put on a robe remembering there is someone in me room
Since I cut all me hair off what a difference taking a shower is wow
She has ordered a bunch of food and drinks, pointing to the bathroom
“You’re turn” I tell her quietly as me smelling the food has reminded me what I need
“Alright that’s fair dearest man whose name I do not have” she just walks away smiling
The stars keep trying as I open the window to try to breathe as I cannot find the inhaler
Doctors, what a waste of time thinking they can tell me what is wrong with me
I eat quickly while sitting on the bed as the chair is too small for me overly tall frame
The blackness comes before she comes in from the rain, I only remember a kiss
Dreamless sleep pervades for a change as I wake in hunger again in the dark
Her arms wrapped around me not caring about me being dressed I cannot move
She looks like an angel in the dim moonlight, I just cry at the thought of a woman
Sleeping so soundly in me arms without me having to prove anything beforehand

I close me eyes to sleep again waiting for the sun’s fragile rays to shine through
The grey hell will await me but today it will wait a little longer as I sleep
The angel I will never see again lingers in me mind as I turn over to sleep again
She is gone from my arms and I have no regrets about just sleeping with someone
The memory actually makes me smile in this time of tears and pain
Drifting into darkness I actually can dream of what is possible in this grey hell
Where the two towers of might and money valiantly fell



Written September 11, 2003 and September 11, 2004.

More was to be added each year but has gotten lost in the drudgery called life.


Comments welcome...please excuse the spelling I am tired.
www.biggalslingerie.com

I just discovered this in the phone and remembered I was to post it here.

Sorry so long.

More Later....

Always Remember, NEVER FORGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What was the first band you became a fan of?
Bruce Springsteen. I was all of five. I have been listening since. "Hungry Heart" was all the rage at this time. Since the question says "band" technically the answer is ELO. This occured once I had a record player(OMG I am old). Thank You Dwayne...I never would have had as much music in my life without you...I know this is neglected...look for more in the next few days for very important postings about why I have been absent from the outside world.
11th-Jul-2007 10:44 pm - The Tarot Card That I Am


You are The Empress


Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.


The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.


The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

29th-May-2007 11:33 pm - Its Over
I killed another class yay! No more Marketing!

Now its on to dead people and how people live...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The kids are almost out of school and still no pool...guess I will be going insane soon.

Memorial Day should be more important than what most Americans see it as. Its sad that people forget and take for granted the things they can do and say, BUSH SUCKS, in this country.

Treavor asked if all the people in Africa are free? I wish I knew where he learns to ask these kinds of questions.

Still no one wants an electrician.

No homework tomorrow! I am homeworked out!

The POS is still going. Its too hot.

As usual I am giving the spell check new fits becuase I keep making my own words up and well Treavor according to them is spelled wrong, yeah right like I would forget how to spell my child's name.
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